Hey Tonesy,
Went to the doctor's last night. Kinda wish you'd come along, it was absolutely insane. Got to this massive apartment complex much like Pingod and just sat in the entrance of a flat on the first floor, waiting to be seen. Obviously I had to translate for Claudia so when he called us in, dressed in his traditional Chinese outfit, and barefoot, we both followed. The room was dingy and the light was dim so we could hardly see. Both of us were clearly nervous and almost got into an argument as to who would go first. Claudy did. He was quite amazing. He essentially knew things that were wrong with her before she said them. She complained of not being able to sleep, and he said she never dreamt, he cracked bones, realigned her spine and did a bunch of other non-invasive but violating procedures and she could feel it instantly. He unblocked one of her ears which she says has been blocked on and off for years (is this why she speaks with such a loud voice??) and even said he could fix her spots.
My translating skills weren't half bad either, until I accidentally told her she might faint when what he actually asked me to say was that she shouldn't worry and it wouldn't hurt. hmm. oops.
And then it was my go. Obviously I went to see him about my cold (and my knee which I decided on the spot that I'd save for another time). He asked me to lie down so he could check the pressure points on my back, took one look at me and said my knee was really bad. I have no idea what he did, I know it was painful, he asked Claudia to hold me down whilst he yanked my legs several times. It felt like he was ripping them out of my body. And then the pain was gone, and apparently he'd realigned me. The next bit gets even worse. He said he needed to do acupuncture to get rid of my cold, and I freaked out saying I'd never done it before etc etc and he said it wouldn't hurt at all. He then started rubbing my back with what I thought was his bare knuckle, after a while, it got really sore, and I realised he was using some sort of chunk of metal, literally just rubbing my skin until it went red. He did it on either side of my spine, and just as I thought the worst bit was done, at the top of the red strips he'd just tattooed onto me, he stuck a needle in, took it out, and then I kid you not, started stabbing me with it. Stabbing me. He did it on either side and then squeezed the blood out. We later discovered that apparently the 'scraping' thing actually brings up all the toxins to the surface and then he draws blood so he can squeeze all the toxins out of the body. I felt a hundred times better within minutes, but still had my cough, which he said he would need to treat on friday to give my body time to recover.
I felt violated. I was in shock. I'd paid someone to literally beat the shit out of me and I was somewhat happy about it. Got an appointment on friday, and Claw has one on Sunday. Would you care to join us? I'm sure he'll fix anything you didn't realise was wrong....
xxx
